Christmas Eve, 24th Dec 2004

Queer. Dats the word to describe today, 24th Dec 2004, Christmas Eve. The day seemed to have passed in a sorta haze ... and suddenly before I know it ... its 2200, two hrs from xmas and I haven't done anything! I mean our family isn't very Christmassy normally but this year it was even more muted cos our grandma was admitted to the hospital recently for a hip fracture - recovering well now - and so no one was in the mood for our regular turkey dinner. Argh ... I remember when we were younger we used to have these cute little candlelight celebrations where we lighted these gigantic Christmas candles and waited for the striking of the 12th hour. Hey ok it doesn't sound like much but we had fun back then haha now it seems eveyone has their own agenda, their own problems and everyone just drifts off in their own direction. Sighz.
Hah but enuf of that! Today I read my first novel since returning. Yay! Bought it yesterday. I love reading (non-fiction i mean) cos it seems to just free you at least for awhile from this world. You get caught up in more exciting, fantastical, sometimes more ideal worlds. You noe this is a bizarre side of myself that I have never reconciled? I mean most times I am pretty practical and eschew idealistic notions and courses of action. Yet at the same time I love dreaming and thinking (I woudn't exactly call it fantasizing hehe) about other realities. Alright basically a day-dreamer. Haha I feel especially good when I wake up from a particularly odd or fantastical dream - seems to make everything so much lighter and more bearable! Ah well everyone has their own eccentricities I guess ... hehe.
Well in tune with today's rather boring and aimless pursuit of something to do ... I present Stacy Orrico's (There's Gotta Be) More To Life. Heard on the radio this morning while doing gym and it sorta's been stuck in there the whole day now. Yeah its true sometimes I do get these momentary setbacks where I turn my head on all thats happening and just wonder what everything is all abt. He has smth planned out for all of us ... but sometimes u just wished you knew a little more ... know wad I mean? Jeesh this is the kinda thing that happens when I have too much time to think ...

Yea, yea
Oh ohh, yeaaa
I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
I'm wanting more.....

I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more to life...

Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more to life....life..
ohh...more to life..life..theres gotta be more to life...
ohh...more to life....theres gotta be more to life...ohhh

Merry Xmas everyone