Topsy Turvy!

This is the cool new schedule I have. Woke up last morning at 830 and headed to school. Six hours of lessons followed, 2 hrs of them discussion with my EH teacher. At least I ironed out some doubts. One subject down! Three to go! Came back at 3 and watched anime for three hours! Ate dinner then slept till NOW (which is like 0230!) What a topsy turvy life! Time to get some work over and done with now. Sighz! Got about 6 plus hours before we head to play Freesbie! Need to squeeze in some quality work time! Gambatei!

Productivity is Directly Proportional to Stress

In about a 1:1 ratio haha. I get more stressed as usual as we count down to the last three weeks to exams. Stress, despite its LR ageing effects actually has the remarkable capability to enhance producitivity. Met some of my tutors today and clarified lotsa stuff so I felt just a little more productively focused as opposed to stressfully worried. Ain't gonna bore u with any more boring details.
Everyone is STRESSED I noe. I can see it in your faces ... its a reflection of mine. We all long for freedom, frens in Singapore (save those nutters who are staying behind) and fun ... its coming dun worry! Just hang in there all of you!

End of Easter

All Souls ... Watched a movie (SIDEWAYS) ... dinner ... Last day of the hols.
NOW ... its time to work for REAL. I always get real fired up the last 3-4 weeks before exams!

Samishisa Mo Tsuyosa Eto Kawatteku... Kimi Wo Omottanara

This is theme song for the anime I'm watching now! Really beautiful! Had to put the jap version down cos the translation really saps the song of all vitality I think. Once again ... you know wad I'm doing instead of studying!

Nami Tamaki - Reason

tooku hanareteru hodo ni chikaku ni kanjiteru
samishisa mo tsuyosa eto kawatteku... kimi wo omottanara

machi mo hito mo yume mo kaeteiku jikan ni
tada sakaratteita
kotoba wo kasanete mo wakari aenai koto
mada shiranakatta ne

kimi dake wo dakishimetakute nakushita yume kimi wa
"akiramenaide" to itta

tooku hanareteru hodo ni chikaku ni kanjiteru
samishisa mo tsuyosa eto kawatteku... kimi wo omottanara
setsunaku mune wo sasu sore wa yume no kakera
arinomama deaeteta sono kiseki mou ichido shinjite

kimi ga inai hibi ni zutto tachitomatta
demo arukidashiteru
kimi to wakachiatta dono guuzen nimo imi ga
sou kanarazu atta

sorezore no yume wo kanaete mata meguriau toki
guuzen wa unmei ni naru

yabureta yakusoku sae mo chikai ni kaetanara
ano basho de deau toki ano koro no futari ni nareru kana?
"yasashisa" ni niteiru natsukashii omokage

me wo tojite mieru kara te wo hanarezu arukoto wo shiru kara

asu ni hagurete kotae ga nanimo mienakute mo
kimi ni au sono tame ni kasaneteku "kyou" to iu shinjitsu

tooku hanareteru hodo ni chikaku ni kanjiteru
samishisa mo tsuyosa eto kawatteku... kimi wo omotta nara
setsunaku mune wo sasu sore wa yume no kakera
arinomama deaeteta sono kiseki mou ichido shinjite

The further we are apart, the nearer I feel you are.
Even my loneliness turns into strength... when I think of you.

In a time where streets, people and dreams change,
I could only oppose them.
I still did not realize,
That there are things that can't be conveyed even with words.

My lost dreams of wanting to hold you by my side,
For them, you said "Don't give up!"

The further we are apart, the nearer I feel you are.
Even my loneliness turns into strength... when I think of you.
The thing that pierces the gentle chest, that's a fragment of my dream.
The miracle that is our chanced meeting, believe in it once more.

In the days without you, I've stopped moving.
But now I am walking out of here.
All the coincidences we shared, certainly
They all have their meanings.

When our dreams comes true one by one, and we meet again,
The coincidences become destiny[*].

If even the torn promises can change into vows,
Can we also change back to the two of us from the time we met at that place?
The dear faces that resemble "kindness".

I can see with my eyes closed, I know you are here and holding my hand.

Even if I can't see the astrayed answers tomorrow,
I carry the truth known as "today" in order to meet you.

The further we are apart, the nearer I feel you are.
Even my loneliness turns into strength... when I think of you.
The thing that pierces the gentle chest, that's a fragment of my dream.
As it is, the miracle that is our chanced meeting, believe in it once more.

Study Observations

Once again ... a dreary routine for my life ... get up late ... go to gym on alternate days ... then to Ong's with Sherwayn for lunch ... study ... dinner ... study .... back home. Urgh. Getting rather tired. Actually I'm rather amazed at some of the people I observe mugging. Scarily powerful and totally determined ... night and day night and day. Ong and Sherwayn are NOT one of them btw ... I am the muggiest person in our little study group and I ain't the muggiest by far! I keep getting distracted ... and unable to focus especially on my stupid EH ... now my certified most hated subject! Oh and when I do gym I get so tired that I go comatose halfway through the day and wake up all groggy and more than a tad worried. Heh but I think there is enuf time ... but despite this knowledge ... this tingling feeling that I have to mug as much as possible combined with seeing others mug it away into the wee hours sometimes turns me nuts. Got to stick to a constant rhythm ... not too many hours a day ... but consistent and focused studying that is the key I think. Once in awhile mebbe I'll take a break and see if others are of like mind! Very slightly under a month left ... so far so good ... To those mugging hard: jia you but dun over do it! take care and remember to have fun as you work! To those not mugging so hard: better get it going!

Interlude

Nice relaxing day yesterday. Sunday ... Lord's day of rest was also our day of rest! Woke up late for All Souls. And guess who it was who woke me up ... who normally is such a heavy log! Arrived in the nick of time via a new found short cut! Pretty interesting service this time ... seemed more interactive than normal which I kinda liked. Lunch ... was ahem KFC (wad the hell we doing wating KFC in London u ask me ... but hey ... EVERYTHING is closed at 1130! Typical London!) followed by the thickest, richest, most peanut buttery shake I ever tasted courtesy of Ed's Diner. Ooooh so FULL! Visited Chinatown in the evening to pick up some ingredients ... nice to go there once in awhile ... the buzz and chaos of the place sometimes gets on your nerves but its refreshing once in awhile. Ingredients + Skill (hehe ... I'm exagerrating a little) + Multitasking Ability + Prima Pack + good company = wonderful mee rebus dinner for us!
Woke up this morning to the sounds of the cleaning lady whacking my door! 1030. Was supposed to be up at 0900! Well I went to the gym anyway and was rewarded by another tasty prima meal - laksa. Really picking up a craving for home goodies recently. Sighz my package HASN't arrived YET! Sheesh its been awhile. Thats wad happens when u entrust 25kg worth of goodies to Singpost sea mail. 1mth 17 days to the end! Can't wait ... then it'll be 2 weeks of fun and laughter before we all get to go home to some Singapore sun!
Geesh but before that .... 8 chapters of EH left ... haven't started with Mill ... econs ain't perfect and I'm more than a tad worried for Stats. But oddly no stress this time round. Maybe the three year long hiatus in the army really gave me a new perspective. Hmm ... mebbe. Haha.
Oh and did I say this? Thanx to someone's reccomendation I have had a particular song by collective soul stuck in my head for the last 24 hrs ... to the point where my study buddies had to tell me to change the playlist (i.e. only one song) on my PC. And yah ... I have finally gotten a HAIRCUT thanx to Passfield's very own live-in hair dresser cum President Scholar. *Shiok* I really can't stand long hair. Its hot, messy and unruly and makes u look like an over grown mop! *Bliss* Simple guy ... doesn't take much to please me haha!

Dare!

In keeping with today's theme! Its a transformers song ... not kiddy! Inspirational. Know you know what we do instead of studying haha.

Dare
Stan Bush
Sometimes when your hopes have all been shattered
And there's nowhere to turn
You wonder how you keep going
Think of all the things that really mattered
And the chances you've earned
The fire in your heart is growing
You can fly, if you try leaving the past behind
Heaven only knows what you might find

Dare - dare to believe you can survive
You hold the future in your hand
Dare - dare to keep all of your dreams alive
It's time to take a stand
And you can win, if you dare

Everybody's trying to break your spirit
Keeping you down
Seems like it's been forever
But there's another voice if you'll just hear it
Saying it's the last round
Looks like it's now or never
Out of the darkness you stumble into the light
Fighting for the things you know are right

Dare - dare to believe you can survive
The power is there at your command
Dare - dare to keep all of your dreams alive
It's time to take a stand
And you can win, if you dare

Dare - dare to believe you can survive
You hold the future in your hand
Dare - dare to keep all of your dreams alive
The power is there at your command

Dare - dare to keep all your love alive
Dare to be all you can be
Dare - 'cause there is a place where dreams survive
And it's calling you on to victory

Reawakening

The Power is Back! Feel kinda unstoppable today ... its that feeling of immortality you get once in awhile. Ain't gonna last but let me enjoy it while its here. Why? Because records are set to be broken. Because goals are made to be realized. Because dreams are meant to be fulfilled.

What About Love?

..... Sometimes writer's block occurs when u either have nothing to say ... or have to much to say (or when u can't say it on a public blog honestly speaking). This is one of those times. Actually words dun come easily to me. Spoken or written I have always been technical and lacked eloquence. Major hindrance sometimes but its the way I am, I'm if not happy, then contented since I'm sure God has given me some other compensating qualities (I hope haha). I was rummaging through my huge and as yet 50% unheard song collection and I dredged out the Heart album - popular in the 80s and 90s. They're rock and I usually don't like that but their songs are good and emotive. Didn't want to bore you all with the whole chunk but ... As the DJs go: this one's for u.

Heart - What About Love?

I've been lonely
I've been waiting for you
I'm pretending and that's all I can do
The love I'm sending
Ain't making it through to your heart

You've been hiding - never letting it show
Always trying to keep it under control
You got it down and you're well
On your way to the top
But there's something that you forgot
What about love

Don't you want someone to care about you
What about love
Don't let it slip away
What about love
I only want to share it with you
You might need it some day

I can't tell you what you're feeling inside
And I can't sell you what you don't want to buy
Something's missing and you got to
Look back on your life
You know something here just ain't right
What about love

Sometimes U Just Can't Smile ...

'Smile' - its my motto. It gives you strength when you're weak and it gives others strength too. Yet some days you just can't smile. Everything comes crashing down and you're left with. Rubble. Funny how some days are when everything just seem just dreary and dull and there's nothing you can do to rememdy it. Introspection. Older, wiser but in many ways still diffident. Diffidence. Because the world is uncertain. Because no matter how much you try your life is not yours but the product of other's decisions. Because we fear the unknown. Because failure is so terrible we fear to try. Because we are only ants in a milieu too large to comprehend. Recall. He is with us. I should have more faith. I will leave all in his hands then. Older, wiser I am. Forward-looking I will be. Good Nite Singapore. Good Nite London.

Domo Arigato!

Well what with all the exams I have decided that my blog shall contain no word of studies, stress or the sterile world of books. Instead I shall write about my hopes, dreams and anticipations for the coming few months. After all it is these things that keep you going and alive in the face of tragedy (nothing so disastrous for me), hardship (somewhat) and anxiety (defintely yesh).
Well here it goes.
One. Nice little trip to Lake District after this entire ordeal is over ... Great scenery and just a chance to relax.
Two. I hope to get closer to God. Been feeling somewhat adrift. No worries or pain. Just a kind of wierd dislocation from everything. Izzit the e---s? But yesh I made a promise in EEC the other day and I intend to keep it.
Three. Back home with my dear family again. Miss them everyday! Chance to say thank you to my Dad and aunt for all they've done.
Four. The bloody food! Need dim sum, laksa, mee pok ... the list goes on.
Five. East Coast Parkway. My favourite beach. Sunrises and sunsets aren't great but since I was 0 I have lived along or near that beach and I've come to associate the place with late night gatherings with buddies, evening walks, sea breeze. I can just feel it now ...
Six. BUDDIES. SJ, Mimi, ZH, Pierre, Mash, Alex, Di, Chuanni, Daf, Marc, Jere ...
Seven. Simple. If U're Ready. When U're ready. It isn't everything but it'd mean a lot.

Rite here is this super hilarious song ... I just fell over laughing when I heard it. I mean who the nut hell would come up with this kinda crap???!! But its a real comic relief!

Styx - Mr. Roboto
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,Mata ah-oo hima de
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,
Himitsu wo shiri tai

You're wondering who I am-machine or mannequin
With parts made in Japan, I am the modern man
I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin
My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain I.B.M.
So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised
I'm just a man who needed someone, and somewhere to hide
To keep me alive-just keep me alive
Somewhere to hide to keep me alive

I'm not a robot without emotions-I'm not what you see
I've come to help you with your problems, so we can be free
I'm not a hero, I'm not a saviour, forget what you know
I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control
Beyond my control-we all need control
I need control-we all need control

I am the modren man, who hides behind a mask
So no one else can see my true identity

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo
Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For doing the jobs that nobody wants to
And thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For helping me escape just when I needed to
Thank you-thank you, thank you
I want to thank you, please, thank you

The problem's plain to see: too much technology
Machines to save our lives.
Machines dehumanize.

The time has come at last
To throw away this mask
So everyone can see
My true identity...
I'm Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy!

STRESSED!

Yummy! Just had a ICCO Pepperoni Pizza for dinner and its pretty fantastic! Last nite we had pineapple rice and Ong and her fren baked this delicious banana bread a quarter of which is in my stomach and another quarter sits on my shelf! Sheesh ... it seems that during exams I do nothing but study, sleep and eat ... oh and a little gym but that's it! As much as I hate this period ... I wish there was more time though ... I think we are really running out of time ... and there's only so much one can process in one day so working 12hr days will not help. Just the other day I woke up for breakfast and went back to sleep. I dreamt that it was the last day before the exam and I was NOT prepared! Heh that really got me up and studying and I did an impressive 10 hrs that day. (its unfortunately deteriorated since) Ok ok I know all this sounds a little muggerish but right now I need all possible sources of encouragement and motivation I can get - the exams are close (and getting closer). London seems very big and lonely now. Everyone's either back in Singapore or tucked in their own little corner studying or doing their own thing. Just praying that God will see us all through this period ... in more or less one piece.

Sian Diao ...

Drats ... been a real boring few days. Nothing to report save that have been trying to study consistently. Mostly been attempting to mug with Ong and fren Liling. Today BAD news ... think there is a worm on my PC ... very slow ... CD's can't load ... sheesh ... wad a time! Just plain Justin's Luck. Seriously almost nothing in the world irritates me more than virus lade PC ... it means a whole load of time wasted reformatting and backing up. Hopefully the next few days bring better (and more interesting) news.

Ich Liebe Es

Arghhh I had to retype everything again cos the stupid blogspot crashed!!!! But anyway here it goes!
Ich Liebe Es! I love it! Pulled right off the Mac's advert but its the way I feel about my last travel destination, Germany! Germany is not just Deutschland, the land of Germans but also CURRYWURST (and every other kind of wurst), bavarian dumplings, Schloss Neuschwanstein, grilled pork knuckles (the size of two of my fists!), always punctual public service (after putting up with the London Tube, this is heaven), VERY friendly and approachable people. Having visited 3 cities (and 2 towns) here are some first impressions: Hamburg, familial, warm sorta place, more like a town despite the population size; Berlin, the metroplis, yet people here are still so friendly and warm; Munich, most beautiful of all the cities, yet a little too touristy; Fussen - heh the best will get into it later! Picking up where I left off at Harburg Rathaus (the U-Bahn stop at Zhu Zhu's town), we had a 45 min river cruise, huge dinner at Friziskaner restaurant (and franziskaner beer too!) - German traditional meal - all pork, grilled pork knuckle, braised pork knuckled pork cutlet, pork steak, pork soup - any meat u want - but only pork. Yet the highlight of Hamburg was I think, not the city itself but two wonderful movies we watched - 'Shall We Dance' (another 1930s Fred Rogers show) and 'Life is Beautiful'. (Not gonna go into the details there its an Italian tale of a Jewish family in a concentration camp - a MUST-SEE!) We left for Berlin somewhat in a daze and arrived at Hotel Adler (thankfully our six man bunk had NO ONE but us - and for 3 whole days). Its a cosy place (exact words I would use to describe Passfield) but really friendly (the staff were so willing to help even if their English wasn't very good!). Jewish Museum, Charlie Checkpint, Topography of Terro (where we met Ong and her fren Liling - imagine the chances of such an occurence!), Sachsnshausen Concentration Camp, remains of the Berlin Wall, Jewish Holocaust Memorial. What appealed to me most about this city was its heritage, at one rich but torn and painful as well. Such a dischotomous relationship is only the reflection of the great East/ West divide that persist till today. Heh but it was in Berlin we discovered the phrase 'currywurst mit pommes frites' - currywurst with fries - cos we must have consumed like 8-10 wurst in those three days! Heh I'm not kidding when I say that the sausages there are out of this world.Munich now is an ocean of green as Berlin is a concrete jungle. Talented baskers and performers, sparkling boulevards, rich architecture, traditional Bavarian steaks, fresh beers and of cos the comfy Easy Palace Hostel (really really wonderful after the COSY Hostel Adler) all come to mind. We strolled through the Munich Residenz, searched long and high for cheap food (to no avail) and were so desperate we went for 5.95 fish anc chip buffet (we as usual were conned again!). Heh but the second day in Munich was the most exciting day of the trip (really depends on how one defines exciting hehe!). We hopped on a train down early in the morning to Fussen. Waking up however we discovered groggily that we were in Memmingen! My dear travelling partner even managed to sleepily insists that "we are not there yet lah! relax!" even as the train emptied out at this last stop. Yet we managed to make the best of things on the train and joked and bumped around merrily. One other hair-raising incident just topped off this adrenaline filled day. At Munchen Pasing we jumped off the train thinking it was Munchen. When we realized out error, we (or rather moi) hopped back on even as the train was moving off! We were greeted by a furious, finger wagging, head nodding, moustache shaking (ok I'm exagerrating a little here but not by much!) conductor who rightfully reprimanded us in broken English, "very dangerous! dangerous! no no!" Depsite the near death I had just encountered, his demeanour was simply priceless and I burst out laughing! *Feel a little bad now* We went back into the train feeling very sheepish and too embarassed to glance at anyone. The next day we went down for real this time to Fussen to glimpse the fairy castle, Schloss Neuschwanstein, creation of the slightly mad, naive and ALL GAY Ludwig II, Bavarian Monarch (we found out about this as we eavesdropped on the tour guide yammering away to his tour group next to us in the train). It was everything you'd expect a fairy castle would be with its adorning murals, mythical scences depicted, graceful spires and off contraptions and secret passageways. After enduring long bus and train rides, horse-drawn carriage (and special just for moi horse fart!), a perfect stroll to the castle, the view not matter how short was worth it! All in all a triumphant and climatic ending to out German escapade!Now trips no matter the place, scenery, or architecture is NOTHING without the company. Its at least as important and perhaps even more so than any other factor in determing the enjoyment. So here's my testimony and tribute to my dear travelling mate whom we all know by different names but whom we shall here refer to as Jakob. Now Jakob at first glance isn't the perfect travelling companion. Jakob has ... DIFFICULTY waking up in the mornings (one minute more, last-last-last minute), takes delight in abusing her innocent travelling mate (aka moi), always asks for WASSER (when moi has just packed his bag!), stares murderously when moi tries furiously to search for the way around the cities and is against taking beatiful fotos of Germany! Heh but thats not the all! In fact its the least. We had loads of fun, being looney ... singing (actually for me humming and for her oinking? hehe) merry tunes ... wandering lost in Munich as we searched for the elusive Hard Rock, strolling in the beautiful Munchen parks, taking VERY crazy self portraits ... joking, teasing ...
So here I thank Liangzhu, Germany and of cos our dear Jakob for one of the best trips ever of our life.
Ich liebe es.