Yo-Bo-Se-Yo!!!

That's 'hello' in Korean! Yeap its been a rather hmmm ... interesting day so far. Nothing seemed amidst when I boarded OZ 752m Asiana Airlines bound for Incheon Airport, Seoul (save for the fact that I forgot to remove my swiss army knife and favourite scissor from my pouch at the airport hence it was confiscated. drats! didn't learn my lesson in Berlin!). I spoke quite a bit with the young Korean loady next to me who went by the name of Jasmine - her boyfren is a Singaporean who works in Bahrain! Anyway just as we were about to land, the pilot announces (in Korean which Jasmine helped to translate) that due to the fog, we'd have to circle the airport and if the situation didn't improve we'd have to land at alternative locations (one of which was Jeju Island which was not even connected to the mainland!). So after circling for 30min he finally decides to land at Gimpoh airport ... which is 30km away sheesh! AND to add insult to injury ... we have to wait 1.5 hrs in the cabin because the immigration staff were not yet ready! Sheesh ... tok abt Justin's luck! Thankfully, the one saving grace was when Jasmine helped me borrow a cell (you can't use S'Pore mobiles in Korea) from an old lady to call dad! Phew ... otherwise the chaos would have been catastrophic! As it is I got home exhausted (and STARVING - food on board wasn't a lot or great). And allow me to say that the house that my dad has here is ... STUPENDOUS! I'd say it gives the house back home a run for the money in terms of PSF and trashes it flat down in terms of cool gadgets and funky equipment! Ahh ... in love with it already! One example .... u dun need a key for the door it uses a electronic code ... the bloody toilet bowl has electronic commands and key pads (which I can't understand haha!)! I'm gonna make a video of the place for u guys back home! ;p Yeah anyway my dad lives in the ambassadorial district so there are lotsa impressive diplomatic residences and consulates here as well!
Right now I'm trying to plan out my trips for the next few days ... but it seems its gonna be difficult to get out of the city which is wad I REALLY want to do. Should be meeting So Yuen, a a fellow CU fren from LSE. Mebbe she'll know some nice places to visit ... preferably somewhere nice and green ... I get sick of cities some times ...

'Stop' Signs On Wheels!

One full day after the Freshers' Camp. Basically its relief and really quite a bit of joy that we pulled it off. Was a mess of anxiety before it began - manpower (also womanpower as Nolly would put it! haha!) shortages, logistical nightmares, planning screw-ups and a few shocks that were sprung on short notice - but thankfully the camp when it began sorta ran itself. I do not mean that our efforts were futile simply that as the momentum kicked in, things sorta fell in to place and we moved from one event to the next with barely a blip.
First thing that struck me was the number of freshers and that they were EARLIER than us! Can u believe that?!! Was starting to lose confidence in hoping for the day when Singaporeans would actually learn that punctuality was important! Anyway, I found our juniors to be a very enthusiastic, friendly, intelliegent and a slightly quirky bunch (heh sounds like us but even more so!). They showed their garangness (?) during the telematch - when the girls sacrificed their hair during the water collection game - and also during the Amazing Race - where we were astouneded by stories of some teams bashing their way through a forest, contemplating rappling down a hill!
Was a "roadblock" during the Race toegther with Sarah and Anand and we cycled ard Sentosa dousing juniors with forfeits to make their lives more difficult. Hmm but compared to last year I must say that the roadblockers this year (i.e. us!) were much more helpful. We assisted many bewildered freshers and even deducted timing from some of em!
I shall now drastically alter my opinion on projects and human interactions. They are simply enriching not only in terms of the experience you gain but also in terms of the new friends and stronger friendships that these help build - and these are invaluable. Also learnt again that to worrying and fretting seldom helps. Granted, planning and prior organisation gives a lot to structural integrity but once a task begins, lotsa impromptou and spur of the moment ideas and actions are often the most inspirational - won't ever forget Sam's "Panda Bears and Bamboo Shoots"!
Gotten a whole new perspective on things. Reborn and Remade.

A Thesis On Human Interactions

I acknowledged one fact when I signed up for this post - I don't like dealing with people. For the last 21 years and probably for a long time to come ... I have worked alone on any project that has held any importance for me. I'm not exactly an individualist save that I prefer working alone ... pretty much because I know myself well, have not the slightest inclination to deal with people and probably because I'm too eccentric myself. Yet circumstances has turned the situation topsy-turvy and whether I like it or not, I've been forced into a situation I prefer not to be in. The roots of the situation are not important however having had it forced into my lap I readily take the responsibility up since if I do not do so ... NO ONE ELSE will. Lets just say that pro-activity has never been a hallmark of this bunch. No matter what people may say now or in the future I believe I have always done my best to discharge my responsibilities and debts.
In such a case it does not help when you are sometimes burdened by erratic changes in the schedule, lack of pro-activity - having to constantly chase and run down people for the tiniest details and when you are criticized for your handling of the task by people you'd expect to give you support and encouragement. Fine you may be inept but at least u try your best when no one can or is able to take up the slack. Grrrr. Now I know why my dad's a loner.
And yes my blog can't read like an essay sometimes ... if u don't like it, don't read it!

Something Beautiful

Once again beset by housing woes. Haiz.

Dad wants me to bring TEN kg of rice to him in Korea. In addition to a whole lot of other weird stuff like jam, face cream, belachan ...

Certain sense of urgency now that time seems to be flying and my return to London is imminent. Too many issues left unsettled. Even those small minor things like a messy bookshelf, slipper left unbought - gotta squeeze all these in!

Robbie Williams

If you can't wake up in the morning
'Cause your bed lies vacant at night
If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it try as you might
May you find that love never leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You WON'T be lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Something beautiful will come your way.

What is this I'm feeling again?

Always ...

When it’s cold outside
Am I here in vain?
Hold on to the night
There will be no shame

Always
I wanna be with you
And make believe with you
And live in harmony harmony oh love

Lethargy ...

Okay ... the camp. The camp is turning out to be a fairly difficult event to plan. Put this together with the fact many in the committee will be on attachment and will not be able to make it PLUS the fact that our volunteers can't really confirm which dates they can make it for ... basically ... sheesh. Just had our dry run postponed from erm today ... till next Sat and this has me a little worried cos that's just four days b4 the camp itself. I REALLY REALLY hope all turns out ok ... I know I'm given to anxieties and can get stressed for the most trivial of reasons ... but still ... our preparation has really been sketchy till now. Sighz.
Hmmm been pretty lazy this week ... only went gym on Monday I think. Have been waking up at like 11-12 everyday. Gotta kick off this lifestyle cos u just feel downright lethargic sometimes ...
Lesee ... only eventful day was probably Wednesday when our generation of swimmers finally met up at Lynda's place. Haven't seen some people like Val for like close to 4 years? We kinda drifted apart after JC ... if not after secondary school ... so its good to meet up once in awhile. You really dun wanna lose touch of some friendships. Lynda's food as usual was top-notch! Yummy pasta thing with cheese sauce followed by her freshly-baked bread and spongy chocolate cake with a thick moose cream! Ahhh ... its good to have frens who can cook!
Oh yah to add to my own already somewhat harried schedule ... I'm organising a pot luck at my place for the JC buddies. Be good to see everyone together again ... we hardly ever see each other together at the same time anymore - the perils of growing up I guess.

All That Flag Waving Patriotism ...

National Day. Patriotism. It just doesn't ring a bell for me. And most of my family really. Don't know of its because we're just cynical people or maybe because Singapore's social and political system just doesn't engender that much nationalism in its people. Of course I do know some patriotic friends around who trot down enthusiastically every year to watch the parade, bask in the spectacle of the fireworks and generally sing patriotic songs in tune with Stephanie Sun or someone else. This is no one undermines my feelings for this country ... or this land rather. My attachment to this island is based more on my friends, my childhood experiences here rather than from any nationalistic sentiments. I feel a gratitude to this country surely for allowing me the experiences, the oppurtunity to flourish in safety and relative comfort yet its not a nation (for example the US) that actually arouses more, basic or raw emotions - the kind of loyalty to the nation that leads men to die for the nation's ideals and such. It is this barrier that our nation has to breach - the apathy towards politics that most Singaporeans have, the blatant cycnism we hold towards our government and any social organization that harbours idealistic views, the lack of consideration for our fellow citizens in almost every aspect of our lives. We are taking steps in this direction. Yet in my view, these baby steps are hard handed and lacking the grass roots involvement of civil society common to the European states and the US. Still I hope to see a more involved civil and social society in the next decade or so. When this happens, and only then, will our country will make the final transition from a city-state to a nation-state.
Anyways I spent the day in relative obscurity. A light of game of squash in the morning, Hakka Yong Tow Fu for lunch followed by yeah shopping at Robinsons with my aunt! Bought lotsa stuff for UK - pans, clothes etc. Even met Fern with her mom shopping for some weird coffee cups. They were discussing the merits of black coffee cups vs. white tea cups? Haha very weird ... I didn't know enuf about the topic to give an objective view haha.

The Last Step

Once again its hard to put into words. Even after many times ... the feeling at the end is a cold, dissapointing fist around your heart. It creeps upon you in those most vulnerable of moments - when you're reading or lost in thought, when you're looking upon a memorable object or trivia or recollect a funny incident.
Too many misunderstandings, too many instances when u read too much into some action or just plain tired of things.
Again I'm at this juncture and I inevitably have to ask myself again ... Y? Having been hopelessly optimistic sometimes now I just feel deflated. I have this theory you know. That I'm not allowed to get serious ... because everytime I do so ... things change and mishaps occur. I'll be back up and running again after a period ... but at this point of time you just have to wonder: is it ever gonna lift off?
I was just thinking that God gives each of us a balance in life - you can't have it all so to speak - so is it because I've had it going in too many other areas in life? I'd like to think not. Despite my beliefs ... I think deep down I still believe that we can change the world, that not all is preordained and that we CAN strive against any odds to achieve what we want.
Arghhh ... right now, some distance and clarity of thought. Gotta be primed for the year ahead.
To you I say sorry and thank you. I enjoyed the journey if ... not the destination.